Inappropriate Nursery Rhymin'

After seven and a half healthy months, Keller finally came down with a sickness (and of course, it came right before the weekend we had plans).  He’s got an ear infection in both ears and, we learned, small ear canals because they had to water pick him and stick painful looking foreign instruments in his ears to get the wax out so they could see his eardrums.  This was not a pleasant experience for mom or baby.  But despite this and the high fever he was running and the awful sounding cough, my sweet little boy has still been his happy natured self (aside from not wanting to be put down, but he’s sick and I find this totally acceptable).

He has also not been sleeping as well due to his illness.  And though he’s been napping fine, it takes him a little longer to fall asleep than normal, so I’ve been using this amazing singing voice of mine to sing him some tunes.  I have found out that I don’t know near as many nursery rhymes as I thought I did.  And I just realized that most of them are really short, requiring me to hurry up and come up with another one.  And I often times don’t remember the words, so I just make them up as I go along.  I sang him a song my Grandpa Winka always used to sing to me.  It goes “Down in the valley, Valley so low.”  That’s all I got.  I just made ‘em up after that.  “I hear you calling, calling me so.”  Calling me so?  That’s terrible.  It doesn’t even make sense. 

And then I moved on to “Hush little baby don’t say a word, Mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.”  Then there’s the lyric about the diamond ring.  And after that my free-styling skills kicked in and I just kept singing about things Mama’s gonna buy ya.  At one point in the song I was buying him wine with a cork…saddest part is not that I’m singing to my 7 month old about buying him wine or the fact that saying ‘wine with a cork’ is ridiculous, but that I was rhyming with work.  Work and cork don’t even rhyme.  Fail.  And just a few short lines later, while trying to rhyme with song, Mama was buying her baby a bong.  Seriously?!  This is all I could come up with?  Drug paraphernalia?  Fail #2.  That was when I decided it was best to end the song…and my dreams of becoming a rap star.  (In my defense, 'song' is a hard word to rhyme with in terms of what Mama’s gonna buy ya.)

So, this is the point where I apologize to my mother.  She has always told me how she would sing me Silent Night when I was a baby…Christmas time or not.  And I made fun of her for that.  But that’s what I reverted to in my moments of desperation.  Christmas songs in March.  Forget the 20 second nursery rhymes and the inappropriateness of my made up lyrics.  I know every word in the first 3 verses of Away in a Manger.

And finally, after I’d been through all of these, a random song popped into my head and so I just went back to that great ol’ tune.  You all know it.  Sing it with me.  “Ooooh, you better take me home tonight.  Ooooh, down beside that red fire light.  Are you gonna let it all hang out.  Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round.”  And here we are again…inappropriate.

Here are some new pics.

7 months old

Bath time!

Love those eyes!

Dear Keller #2

Dear Keller –

6 months old already.  I can hardly believe it.  It’s amazing to me how much you’ve changed and how much you’ve learned to do in just 6 short months.  And, as with every other month you’ve grown older, this is my new favorite age!

You started rolling over shortly after you turned 4 months old.  You went to Ms. Sheree’s like any other day.  As I was sitting at work I started getting picture messages and I knew what was coming.  She managed to capture the entire roll-over.  I was so excited for this big accomplishment in your life…but so sad I missed it.  So I cried.  At work.  I sent your dad a text and asked him if he could hurry up and make more money…to which I promptly got a confused phone call.  I explained that you had rolled over and I had missed it and I was going to miss all your ‘firsts’ and if he’d just make more money I could stay home with you…to which he replied ‘Are you really crying at work?  People are probably making fun of you.’  Your dad’s super sympathetic.  :) 

You are eating all sorts of food now.  Being the amazing cook I am, I am making all of your food.  Made you banana tonight.  Whew!  Mashing that banana really took it out of me.  You love apples and bananas and sweet potatoes.  You also like squash and you’re still undecided on peas.  You eat them, but pretty hesitantly.  Avocado was the first food you had, and you really liked it at the time, but now that you’ve had a taste of other things, forget about it.  I can’t blame you on that one.

You sleep through the night like such a good boy, usually 9-10 hours a night.  We had to Ferberize you to get you to sleep that long, which involved lots of crying by both you and me, but it was worth it in the end.  I think.  As long as you don’t end up emotionally scarred.  And now that you can roll over, you like to sleep on your belly and will often sleep with your face straight down in the mattress.  Talk about freaking your mom out.  I was up Googling at midnight one night whether it was safe for you to sleep like that or not.  Google said it was…Google better be right.

You still LOVE watching TV, as you have pretty much since you came out of the womb.  We watch Wheel of Fortune every night and you love it…probably all of the colors and the fast pace and Pat Sajak’s funny jokes.  And it’s totally educational so I’m fine with you watching it.  You’re going to know how to spell by the time you’re 2.  ;)  A commercial for Wheel came on one day and you turned your head to watch…you recognized the theme song.  That’s either really sad or really amazing.  I’m going with amazing!  You also love Elmo.  If you’re upset and nothing else works, ‘Elmo’s Song’ on YouTube never fails.  Never.

You went on your first plane ride in January, when we went down to Florida to see your Grandpa & CoCo.  Our flights there and back were both delayed…apparently the airline didn’t care that I had my day all scheduled out and arranged around your eating schedule.  Whatever.  You were a perfect angel regardless.  We surprised your Grandpa for his 50^th birthday…put you in your car seat on his door step and hid.  He thought you were a doll.  When he finally figured out what was going on, he was totally surprised.  We went to the beach while we were there.  You ate the sand.  I thought you’d get a taste of it and realize you didn’t like it and not do it again.  I thought wrong.  We also went to our first art show and lots of great places to eat and you and I went for a walk every morning in the gorgeous January sunshine.  Someday you’re going to ask me why we choose to live in the Midwest when places like Florida and California exist...and I’m not going to have an answer for you.

You are a Mama’s boy…and I love it.  That is all.

You have found your voice and love to hear yourself squeal.  Or maybe you just like the attention you get from making such loud noises.  Either way, it usually gets a laugh from me and your dad.  And really, you like making noise in any manner.  Banging blocks together, slapping the table/high chair tray/computer, fake coughing, etc.  You also like to stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself and something about that makes you want to dance.  You get one little leg really going…I call it the Missouri One Step.  Cutest lil’ thing I ever did see.

And you like to laugh at the dogs.  You think they’re sooo funny when they come to give you kisses or lick your hands.  Marley is your protector.  He doesn’t let you far from him and he’s always right by your side when you’re crying.  And he doesn’t mind when you pull his hair or when we think it’s funny to act like he’s a horse and let you ride him.  I can already tell you and him are going to be best buds!  Vanilli, on the other hand…  You’ve tried to pet her a few times and I very hesitantly have let you, but only quickly.  I’m sure it won’t take long for you to learn about her.  She’s like a small mountain lion, not to be touched.  I’m not looking forward to the day you grab her tail or pet her too roughly or grab a chunk of her hair or look at her wrong.  She’s liable to leave you with a nub for a hand.  And Maya girl, she just wishes you’d throw that damn ball for her.

You still love your baths and your splashes are getting bigger and bigger.  I usually wind up nearly as wet as you.  We took you swimming for the first time last weekend and you loved it.  Finally somebody for your dad to play with in the pool!!!  He’s been waiting on this for a looong time.

Swimming with Dad

Lil’ Man, you have made this the best 6 months of my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I can’t wait to see what the next 6 months have in store for us.  

Such a happy baby!

6 Months Old

And Then There Was Christmas

So, Christmas came again this year.  Yep, I’m finally writing about it.  Over a month later.  Let’s all just accept the fact that until blogging is my full-time job, I’m likely going to write about things late.  Really late.  Glad we’re all on the same page now.

So, here’s how it all went down –

Friday night, the 23^rd, we had Christmas with the Cessna’s.  We left there with a cake pop maker, a popcorn maker, a rocking horse and a bottle of wine.  Keller’s already downed the bottle of wine and Dustin rides the shit out of that rocking horse, so clearly, we were off to a great start. 

Saturday, the 24^th, Keller and I spent the day in Olney with my mom.  B-Pa (the name we have affectionately dubbed for Brad) took us out to breakfast.  We went to Christmas Eve mass with Dustin’s family (even though Grandma Winka informed me more than once that it was our year to go to mass in Flora) and then out for some delicious Southern Illinois pizza that night.  Not to get off topic, but living in St. Louis, we have yet to find a pizza place that beats Joe’s, Monical’s or Bobe’s.  There’s nothing even close.  These St. Louis folk are deprived.

Christmas morning we got up and amazingly, Santa managed to find us all the way in Illinois.  This was more exciting for Dustin than anybody else.  For those of you who don’t know him, he’s like a 5 year old when it comes to Christmas.  He snoops for his gifts so they have to be well-hidden.  He’s too excited to sleep on Christmas Eve and wakes up early on Christmas morning (the only day of the year he wakes up early) and he LOVES opening gifts.  So, imagine his excitement in getting to open his AND Keller’s gifts this year!  He actually told me he was excited because he would get to open Keller’s gifts for the next few years and I had to burst his bubble that he was probably only going to get this year, so he better enjoy it while he could.

So, much to Dustin’s excitement, Keller (and by Keller, I mean Dustin) had lots of gifts to open.  Keller did help with the bags.  He pulled the tissue paper out, which went straight to his mouth.  He tried pulling the tissue paper out of one of Dustin’s gifts and Dustin smacked his hand and told him to get his own gifts.  Okay, that’s a lie.  Dana knows not to put Dustin’s gifts in bags.

We made our way to the Andrews family for lunch and then stopped in Olney at the Keller’s, where Keller met his cousin Ava, who is exactly one month younger than him.  And then it was on to the Winka’s for dinner.  Whew!  Talk about a long day!  And the next morning we woke up and started all over again with Christmas at my mom’s. 

Keller made quite the haul on his First Christmas…so much so that we weren’t able to bring it all back home in one load.  He got toys and toys and more toys and books and clothes and movies.  He got pj’s and sleepsacks and stuffed animals.  He got baby Tom’s & baby Sperry’s.  He got a rocking horse and a rocking frog.
 

But his favorite gift of all…the iPad.  I seriously cannot even use it if he’s within arms reach without him putting his grubby little paws on it.  I try to use it while he’s eating, thinking eating is way more important, so I’ll be able to get in some quality Facebook or Pinterest time.  Wrong.  Even with it behind his back, and a boob in his mouth, he stops eating and turns around, swiping his hand across it like he’s been using it all his life.  Same goes for my iPhone.  I bought him a Fisher Price cell phone for Christmas, but it’s push button, not touch screen, so he won’t have anything to do with it.  “Geez, Mom, push button is sooo last year.  And I can’t even get Angry Birds on this.  Seriously, it looks like a Zach Morris phone.  I’d get your money back.”  He’s a techie snob already.

Merry Christmas in February!

Sleep...

I'm reposting this because I had to delete it because I'm having Internet Explorer/computer/blog/some sort of technology issues and this was something my google search suggested...it didn't work.

So, we’ve had a little hiccup in our sleeping routine.  Actually, it was more like a belch.  A really long, loud belch similar to that of Will Ferrell’s character in Elf.  (“Did you hear that?”)  Let me start from the beginning.

By about two and a half months, Keller was getting up just once a night (and sometimes he would even sleep through the night).  Around three and a half months he was starting to outgrow the bassinet that he slept in, in the Pack n Play in our room.  So we decided we would move him out of it and into the regular part of the Pack n Play for a few nights so he could get adjusted to it and then we would move him into his crib.  Keller had other ideas.

Since night 1 of post-bassinet life, Keller would wake up a minimum of ten times a night.  This is not an exaggeration (believe me, I wish it were!).  The majority of these wakings would come within the first two hours of putting him down, where Dustin and I would take turns (though my turn seemed to come more often than his) going in and bouncing him after hearing him cry yet again.  Asleep in 3 minutes, awake in 10, asleep in 2 minutes, awake in 5 and on and on and on.

Fast forward a month and nothing had changed, now four and a half months old.  Still in the Pack n Play in our room (Don’t judge me – I actually just read something stating that they should really be in their parents room until 6 months to help avoid SIDS, but I digress.) and still doing this sleep, cry, bounce routine.

At this point we’d tried everything.  We tried different bed times, the noise machine, swaddling and no swaddling, eating rice cereal and solids, the vibration feature on the Pack n Play, different positions in the bed (maybe the feng shui wasn’t right when placed parallel, let’s try perpendicular).  We tried the lights on, lights off, night lights, Christmas lights and every combination therein.  It’s safe to say lighting was not the issue.  I read books and blogs and message boards and magazine articles and Googled until I could Google no more.  I even went out and bought this fancy projector that plays music and projects images on to the ceiling thinking that might “entertain” him right to sleep.

And the music – we listened to lullabies, classical music, Christmas music, my labor playlist on my iPod, music on YouTube, white noise, heartbeats, etc., etc., etc.  The one song that did (and still does) soothe him is Marry Me by Train.  This is the only slow song on my phone so I would play it when rocking him to sleep when he was younger (as if he’s sooo old now).  Apparently, it stuck with him because the song now has magical powers.  We played it when trying to get him back to sleep and would often leave it on throughout the night.  I think I’ve now heard it at least 5,000 times.  (“Forever could never be long enough for me, to feel like I’ve had long enough with you.”  The line certainly fits.)

So with just a week before his 5 month birthday, not knowing what else to do (and at the doctor’s suggestion), we opted for the Ferber method (a version of cry it out).  I originally said no way would I do that.  It’s mean, it’s cruel, it’s torture.  There’ll be crying and screaming and sadness and tears…and it will be really hard on him, too.  But there comes a point when you’re at your wits end, and I was at that point.

Night 1 – Worst. Night. Ever.  We did the check on him/soothe him after 1, 5, 10 & 15 minutes (and by we, I mean I).  Hearing him cry is one thing.  Actually going in and seeing him cry and look up at you with those sweet, sad eyes, tears rolling down his face, wondering why you won’t pick up him up (“All I want is a little bounce, Mom”) is another.  That rips your heart out.  Somewhere after the 15 minute check he gave in to sleep.  He cried for 40 minutes; I cried for an hour.  I’m sure I’m psychologically damaging him.  He’ll probably have abandonment issues when he gets older, amongst other things, but at least we’ll be sleeping (hopefully)…

Night 2 – Same exact amount of time, but I made dad do the dirty work.

Night 3 – Dad was gone so mom’s turn again.  Eek!  I went in at my scheduled time (after 5 minutes of crying) and did the soothing thing (which, by the way, does no good for either party) and re-evaluated the situation.  In my attempt to “entertain” him to sleep, or at least, make him feel comfy, I had turned his mobile on, so there were elephants dancing in circles and singing above his head, I had a night light on, I had my fancy new projector projecting animal scenes onto the ceiling and playing music and I had the giraffe noise machine on for good measure.  Holy overstimulation!  Who could sleep with all that?  So, I gave the dancing elephants the night off, stopped the animal scenes above, cut out the music and just left the giraffe’s white noise and a night light.  Magic.  Within just a few minutes he was asleep.

Since that time, it’s been 5 minutes or less every night.  Occasionally he wakes up after a little while, but goes back to sleep within 5 minutes.  And he sleeps 9-10 hours each night, which is amazing.  I can’t say that I’m a Ferber advocate, but I will say that it absolutely works and if you’ve tried everything else, it’s definitely worth a shot.  I’m a believer.

Here's Your Update

Here’s the update I promised.  So, what have we been up to since the last time I wrote?  Well, Keller’s off to Kindergarten…okay, so it hasn’t been that long!

We had Keller baptized the middle of October and he was a perfect angel.  He didn’t cry once during the whole mass.  Not when they dumped water on his head and not even when Father Jerry paraded him down the aisle like he was dear Lord Baby Jesus himself.  Seriously, I was a little nervous.  I mean, he was holding him up in the air and all I was thinking was, “If Keller makes a move, his next move might be towards the floor.”  But I reminded myself we were in church and that would be a pretty mean Lord to hurt my baby in church at the hands of one of his own.

 

And then came the dreaded October 14^th.  The day mama had to go back to work.  You’ll be glad to know we all survived.  You were probably worried since I hadn’t written in so long.  It was a sad, sad, sad day, but it has gotten better.  I dreaded the day for weeks, months even, and when it finally came, I woke up and got ready for work and I was thinking, “This isn’t so bad.  I’m doing great.  Maybe this will be alright.”  So, I get ready and wake Dustin up (he stayed home with him and it was a Friday, so I only had one day to get through) to let him know I’m leaving and when Keller ate last, etc. and I feel myself getting a little emotional, but I suck it up because I know I’ll get no sympathy from Dustin.  Okay, ready to go.  Just need to give the little guy a kiss and I’m off.  And that’s when I lost it.  Oh, the tears.  They started flowing and they didn’t stop until I got to work.  I even pulled through McDonalds and got myself a little Frappe for my big day and as the guy asked me how I was and handed me my beverage, I answered “Good” through tear-stained cheeks.  Real convincing, Lindsay.  I composed myself in the parking lot at work, though I was on the verge of tears and knew this composure wouldn’t last long.  And it didn’t.  I got into work and cried as I told my co-workers how sad I was to be back.  I missed them and all, but I didn’t cry when I left them.  J  We’re almost up to 2 months and it has gotten easier…but I’m still trying to convince Dustin that my little boy needs me at home.  Clearly, I’m not doing a very good job.

 

How can I leave that sweet face?!



"Mom, are you really going to leave these sweet little chubby cheeks?"

Shortly after I went back to work, our Cardinals won the World Series.  Some of the most exciting baseball ever!  So that means the Cards won the World Series in the year Dustin & I were born (1982) and the year Keller was born.  Destiny.

Keller turned 3 months.

  

We celebrated our first Halloween.  Keller was a skunk, and hated it.  Marley was a hot dog and loved it.  Maya was a banana split, and she, like Keller, hated it.  We always sit in our driveway and hand out candy, and it was a pretty chilly evening here.  That, along with Keller’s crabbiness over being a skunk caused us to cut our evening short.  This led to us having an abundance of leftover Halloween candy.  Not to worry, it’s almost gone.  For some reason, my cravings came after I had the baby.  During my pregnancy I never really got cravings.  Now, I may eat an entire pan of brownies if left alone in a room with them.

And then he turned 4 months. 

The doctor gave us permission to move on to rice cereal and fruits and veggies.  So excited!  So we came home that night and gave it a go.  Not a big success, but I figure that’s to be expected when you’ve only known a liquid diet and there are suddenly flakes mixed in.  Tried again the next night…still not a fan. 





Night 1 - I don't think he likes it

This was taken a few days in by Aunt Emily.  I believe that's the face of a child that prefers liquids.

We have since moved on to some solids.  I am planning to make my own baby food, so we started by putting a little mashed banana in the rice cereal.  That was a little better.  We’ve also had avocado, which apparently is much better than rice cereal.  He ate it like it was the best thing he’s ever had…and at this point in his life, it probably is.

We had our first Thanksgiving, which was rather rushed being that I had to work on Friday.  We went back home and made our rounds, seeing as much family as we could fit into 24 hours.  Everyone was so excited to see Keller, as you can imagine.  And Dustin and I were there too.  :)

And that brings us (pretty much) up to date.



My Mom Rocks

I’m the type of person that always has to be up doing something (well, at least I was before baby) and there is no doubt I get that from my mother.  She came out last weekend for our annual Christmas shopping extravaganza and we shopped till we dropped.  Or, at least until Dustin had had enough father-son time.  (He called around 6:00 on Day 1 and couldn’t fathom that we weren’t done after 10 hours.  Seriously, honey, we’ve only just begun.)  So we shopped for 2 very full days and she bought me lots of great Christmas gifts and everything I picked up and considered buying for Keller she added to her shopping bag instead.  (And can I just say he is going to be one styling kid with his new baby Toms & baby Sperry’s.  Cutest things ever.  Let’s just hope he doesn’t have his dad’s Sperry allergy!)  She got us lunch and Starbucks everyday (which I’m really missing) and we reminisced about the good ol’ Christmas shopping days.  J

But what really makes her great is that even with all this shopping we did, she managed to be her usual busy-body self and decorate my house for Christmas, do a little dusting and vacuuming, do dishes and a bajillion loads of laundry (Yep, you read that right, a bajillion.  It’s a real number, look it up.), help take care of Keller & the four-legged children, and various other things that post-baby I just don’t get around to doing like I should.  And she even brought me out some dessert, which I don’t need but am eating it like I do.  And not to exclude Dustin, she made him some Chex mix.  She is so helpful and so willing to help and though I don’t tell her enough, I so appreciate everything she does for us.  Everyone should be so lucky to have a mom like mine.  Love you mama!

It's Been A While

Yeah, yeah – so it’s been a while.  I’m a slacker, what can I say?!?  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  Who knew how much work it is working full-time and being a full-time parent?  Not I.  I get home from work and all I want to do is love on my sweet boy and make up for the time I’ve missed.  And so I do.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t get my house cleaned or laundry done and it certainly doesn’t get a Blog written. 

A few nights ago, after Keller had gone to bed, I cleaned my bathroom vanity and let me tell you, the sense of accomplishment I felt, you’d have thought I ran a marathon or parallel parked my car or something (I’ve never done either one and likely never will).  Nevermind that the floor and the toilet and the tub were all still in need of a cleaning.  That vanity was clean, damn it and it felt good!  This is what my life has become…excitement over a clean vanity.  I may have a dirty house, but I also have a very, very loved little boy and that’s WAY more important.  I’ll provide an update soon.  In the meantime, here's a pic of my little lovebug.

Dear Keller

I saw somewhere where a parent wrote letters to their child as they were growing up and then gave them those letters as an adult.  I love the idea, so I’m stealing it.  This is the first one.

Dear Keller –

You are 10 weeks old.  I can’t believe how fast time has gone.  In less than 2 weeks I’ll have to go back to work, which will be the saddest day of my life.  Just writing about it makes me cry, so let’s not dwell on that. 

These days you really like the TV.  You are certainly your parents’ child in that respect.  You will focus on it for quite awhile.  You don’t seem to care what’s on, but I did notice you staring pretty intently during the Cowboys game Monday night. ;)  Your dad said when he woke up Tuesday morning you had both of your arms up in a touchdown signal.  Strangely, the Cowboys didn’t score any touchdowns, so you must have either been dreaming about them scoring one, or mimicking the officials signaling all of our field goals good.

Touchdown!

Watching TV

You also really like the ceiling fan, on or off.  I’m not sure what you can actually see, probably just a big blob, but it makes you smile, and that makes me smile.  Speaking of your precious little smile, you’re doing that a lot these days.  You’re the happiest right after you eat.  I lay you down and talk to you and you just smiiiiile.  There’s nothing I like better than seeing you smile. 

Love that smile!

You’ve started talking back to me, too (not like back sass talking back, but cooing).  We carry on long conversations with one another, neither of us understanding the other one’s language.  (“Baxter, you know I don’t speak Spanish.”)  Though an outsider probably couldn’t tell we don’t know what the other one’s saying. 

I do occasionally speak in other languages to you, just to keep you well-rounded.  Just things like “Hola” & “Como estas?” & “Puedo ir al bano?”  Okay, so I took 5 Spanish classes in high school and these are the only things I remember.  That’s better than my 2 French classes, from which I only remember “Je t’aime.”  That and “fromage” but it would be kind of silly to just walk around saying “cheese” to you.  So, I stick to Je t’aime and there’s really nothing more perfect that I could say to you.

You recently found your hand and like to suck on it, though you haven’t quite figured it out yet.  You like to try to shove the whole thing in your mouth, so usually you end up sucking on your fist.  You’ve found your thumb on occasion, but you quickly move on to your fist.  We’re trying to get you to take a pacifier, but you’re not sure about it.  You’ve also recently started blowing spit bubbles.

How can I get this whole fist in my mouth?



Blowing bubbles

We went for your 2 month checkup this week.  They say you’re perfect, which we already knew.  After much research and indecision, we decided to vaccinate you.  You did great…and I did, too.  We are choosing to do an alternative vaccination schedule because my job is to protect you and after all of the research that just left me more confused, I felt like this was the best way to do that.

You’re still sleeping in a bassinet in our room because I like to hear you breathe and watch you sleep.  I feel like it’s probably about time to move you to your own room, but that’s a big step and I’m just not sure I’m ready for that yet.  You sleep anywhere from 4 – 6 hours at night, which is great.  You sleep good during the day as well, as long as you’re being held.  If I put you down, you usually wake up within 15 or 20 minutes.  I have heard from quite a few people lately that I can’t “spoil” you until you’re at least 4 months or so, so I just hold you a lot, and that’s perfectly fine with me.  I would hold you all day if I could.

You like to be up…and bounced.  You also like to stand up…you’ve got strong little legs.  You like it when your mama sings to you, even though my voice is terrible.  You don’t mind.  You have big boy toots that make your dad laugh every time.  He appreciates any kind of toilet humor, which I’m sure you will inherit.  You love to be outside and I just love to be anywhere you are.

All My Love,

Mom

10/1/11

Obviously I'm New At This #2

So, I’m completely delusional.  Prior to having Keller, I had this idea in my head as to how my life would be in the 12 weeks I was off work.  It was very June Cleaver-ish.  Or maybe you’d prefer Danny Tanner-ish, minus the job.  I couldn’t wait.  I knew I’d have a small child depending on me, but I also knew newborns sleep a lot.  So, while he was sleeping, I thought I’d just be a little worker bee and get so much accomplished.  Super Mom, they’d call me. (I’m not sure who ‘they’ are, but I was sure someone would call me that.)

Here is what I envisioned:

Obviously, my house would be clean at all times.  With 3 very shedding animals, this would require daily vacuuming.  And that’s not an exaggeration.  It would also require frequent dusting, several times per week.  But no problem, because I’ve got ALL day.  In fact, my house would be so clean, I’d be looking for things to clean.  I’d get to those things that always get put off, like ceiling fans and windows and the basement.

Laundry would always be caught up. 

I would make dinner every night.  The funny part about this is that Dustin is the cook in our house.  If it were up to me, we’d have grilled cheese or oatmeal every night.  So, this task would first require me learning how to cook.  But, geez, with 12 weeks…I’ll be a master chef by the time I have to go back to work.

I’d become a couponing queen, practically getting our groceries for free, while building up lifetime supplies of things like floss and body wash and cat treats that my cat doesn’t even eat.  But hey, if I have a manufacturer’s coupon that I can match with a store coupon and they’re on sale this week and the price comes to FREE, why not.  I’d turn into such a giver, sharing these freebies with shelters and such.

Since part of my time off is unpaid, and we now have a small (yet expensive) child to support, I’d find a way to make money while I was home, too.  Heck, maybe it’d even be enough that I could stay home forever.  I could find a work from home job online (because there are so many legitimate ones out there) where I set my own hours, or take up crocheting and make and sell baby hats (again, this would have to be learned in all of my free time) or maybe I could write a book or sell baked goods somewhere.

In addition to all of this, I would catch up on all those movies I’ve been meaning to watch, books I’ve been wanting to read, scrapbooks I’ve been meaning to make, dog training we’ve needed to do, new dessert recipes I’ve been wanting to try, etc. etc. etc.…

Here is how my days actually go:

Get up every couple of hours throughout the night for feeding.  Continue to do this until around 9.  Feed him again.  Get out of bed around 10.  Put Keller in his bouncy seat, which gives me about 10-15 minutes to shower and another 5 to put on clothes, fix my hair, etc.  Keller cries.  Get him out of his bouncy seat.  Feed him again around 11.  Put him down in his swing in order to get lunch.  Get Keller out of swing as soon as I’m getting ready to eat said lunch, due to crying.  Figure out how to eat lunch one handed, while standing up…and bouncing…and shhh-ing.  And this was on a good day.  Many days the crying started as soon as I put him in so I also had to make lunch one handed.  I’d manage to finish my lunch (or not) with him sleeping on me.  He’d wake up around 1 or 2 and I’d feed him yet again.  By this time, I’ve learned that I may as well not even attempt to put him down, and doing anything while holding a sleeping baby that can’t yet support his own head is nearly impossible, so what to do?  What else?  A favorite hobby of mine, which has become even more amazing with my little man.  Napping, of course.  There’s nothing greater than taking a nap while a sleeping baby naps on your chest.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t get much accomplished.  So, we’d get up around 4 and eat again (him, not me).  Dustin would get home and get dinner ready around 6:30…and, of course, Keller would wake up right around 6:29.  So, Dustin & I would take turns eating and then I would feed Keller.  And finally, I get a chance to get something done.  Woo Hoo!  So, I start by cleaning up dinner.  And then I might just have a chance to get a load of laundry started and that’s pretty much all she wrote folks.  Between feeding the ‘other’ kids and bath time and changing into pj’s and changing diapers and maybe picking up things around the house, the night’s pretty well gone too.  And even though I get nothing accomplished around my house, and it drives my ADD-type personality a little crazy, there is nothing in the world I’d rather be doing!  So, we’ll get up and do it all over again tomorrow.  Around 2 a.m.

Holy Hormones

I’ve always been a little emotional and a lot sensitive and sometimes even, admittedly, bitchy, but holy hormones!  My emotions have skyrocketed to a whole new level.  I assumed this to be somewhat normal at first, like in my first week home, as I cried reading “On The Day You Were Born” to Keller.  I’d never read the book before, but it instantly became a new favorite of mine (Thanks Laura!). 

And then a couple weeks later, I was watching Garth Brooks on Oprah and he sang Unanswered Prayers.  Now, I’ve heard the song many times and it never triggered any emotional response, but this time, the tears were a flowin’.  The song did have a little more meaning this time, as I thought about some of my recent unanswered prayers.  A few months before Keller came to be, there was another lil’ peanut growing in my belly, which we affectionately referred to as Baby A (for Andrews).  During week 9, we were devastated when we lost our Baby A.  Now, listening to Garth sing about how God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, I know that the greatest gift I’ve ever received, my Baby B, wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for unanswered prayers. 

Just a couple of weeks ago, a neighbor had given me a CD of random songs (Thanks Elizabeth!), so I popped it in the CD player in my vehicle on my way to a doctor’s appointment.  I was 30 seconds into song number 1 when the crying began.  Seriously?!?!  It’s been 6 weeks and I’m still having these emotional reactions?  So, now I’m wondering if my hormones are ever going to go back to normal, or if this is my new normal now.

As I’m listening to the song, I’m thinking about how in love with this little boy I am and how he won’t stay little for long and before I know it he’ll be going to school and then off to college and then getting married and having kids of his own.  Whoa, Lindsay!  These are seriously the things going through my mind.  My kid’s 6 weeks old and I’m getting upset about losing him to some tramp (Just kidding!  I’m sure she’ll be lovely.) and becoming a grandma.  This probably isn’t normal behavior.  In fact, I should probably seek help for my ‘baby issues.’

The funny part is, the song has nothing to do with him growing up or really anything related to the thoughts running through my mind.  The song I was listening to was Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks…if you haven’t heard it and you have a little man (or even if you don’t), give it a listen.  It’s pretty amazing…or maybe it’s just my hormones.

(Scroll in to the 1:45 mark if you don't want to hear the story behind the song...that's where the music starts.)