You ever have one of those days? Where at the end of the day, if given the opportunity to redo the day, you would just stay in bed all day? Well, I did…and I lived to tell about it, so here we go…
It started as any normal Saturday, with Keller waking up around 6. (At what point do they start sleeping in until 10?) We have started trying pieces of food instead of pureed and Keller gags/chokes on everything. So I had decided I was going to try making him a scrambled egg. (Well, really, I decided Dustin was going to make it, but he sleeps too late so that didn't work out as planned.) I thought if I scrambled it real fine, it would slide right down and we would be well on our way to eating real, solid food. Wrong.
Reason #457 why I don't cook... As I go to get the egg out of the fridge, I apparently had the dropsies - egg all over the floor. *Sigh*
Fast forward 15 minutes - egg is cleaned up, scrambled egg is made, Keller is prepared to try his first bite of deliciousness. And he gags. Try an even smaller bite, even more gagging. *Sigh*
Oh well. Since texture is big at this age, I decided to let him play with it. Fun! By the time we're done, there's egg all over him and his clothes and the high chair, though with a dog on either side of him, we've managed to keep the floor clean....well, eggless. So I go get his bath ready and strip him down in his high chair. Check the diaper, looks good, drop it, pick him up, go put his bowl in the sink, come back to the high chair to throw his clothes downstairs and diaper away and uh-oh... It appears there was in fact poop in the diaper. Hmmm...so this cute little butt that's resting against my stomach... *Sigh*
Clean him up, change my shirt and on to the bath. So, Keller's playing in the bathtub and I'm perusing Facebook. In the midst of sending a birthday message, I think I hear bubbles coming from the tub. I check everything out and all looks good. Probably just him banging toys together I assure myself. I go back to writing my birthday message when I see it - The Poop Face. Noooooo! There are certain times when you know Keller's pooping - his face gets red, little red lines form between his eyebrows, there's grunting, and he just has this look. (He's really going to appreciate this when he gets older.) This was one of those times. I rush to pick him up out of the tub (to do what with him I don't know) but I'm too late. Poopapalooza. *Sigh*
Later that morning, Keller and I made our way to the Galleria to get mama a new pair of shoes. So we go into Macy's and I stroll by the men's shirts. I find one I like, head over to get my shoes, pay and we're on our way. Maybe I'll head back by the men's shirts real quick. Find another one and buy it. While I'm here, where are the kids clothes? 3rd floor, of course, so we make our way to the elevators. Side note - Why in the hell are department store elevators soooo slow? Seriously, there aren't 15 floors in this place...what could possibly take so long? Fuckin' gaggle of turtles having a pow-wow upstairs on the elevator. Finally... Get to the 3rd floor, find nothing, of course, and head back to the 1st floor. One more stop by men's (because I'm terribly indecisive) and as I'm browsing Keller gets "the look". And then the grunting starts. Here we go again. Buy another shirt. Where are the women's restrooms? 2nd and 3rd floor...because it would make too much sense to have one on the 1st floor. Back to the dreaded elevators.
By this time I have to pee so I head into the bathroom only to find out the handicapped stall is out of order. WTF?!? Now what do I do? The stroller and my bags and all his shit certainly isn't fitting into a regular sized stall. Unbelievable. Slightly baffled and refusing to make another trip to the elevator, I begin taking my valuables out of the stroller, starting with Keller. Then my wallet and phone and keys. And I then attempt to balance everything while hovering. *Sigh*
Finally get out of that place, take Keller for his first trip to Crate & Barrel (which he loved, obviously) aside from seeing a lady fall…hard…when she tried sitting in a chair that was not meant for sitting.
Went to our friends Jonathan and Laura's house that evening for a cookout. With the day I'd had, I should have known to just call it a day. Didn't. And the Lord said you haven't seen a shitty day yet. I'll spare you all the details because I'm getting tired of writing and I'm sure you're getting tired of reading. Are you still reading this? Wow, I'm impressed. So, what had happened was...the biggest hail storm in the history of hail storms came rolling through right where we were located. Right on top of my new Kia. Shattered my windshield and put a beatdown on the hood and roof and threw a few in on the doors just for good measure. And this was no typical pea- or golf-ball sized hail. Oh no...we're talking baseball sized. Looked like somebody brought that fuckin' gaggle of turtles from the 15th floor and pow-wow’ed them right at my hood. *Sigh*
Reason #457 why I don't cook... As I go to get the egg out of the fridge, I apparently had the dropsies - egg all over the floor. *Sigh*
Fast forward 15 minutes - egg is cleaned up, scrambled egg is made, Keller is prepared to try his first bite of deliciousness. And he gags. Try an even smaller bite, even more gagging. *Sigh*
Oh well. Since texture is big at this age, I decided to let him play with it. Fun! By the time we're done, there's egg all over him and his clothes and the high chair, though with a dog on either side of him, we've managed to keep the floor clean....well, eggless. So I go get his bath ready and strip him down in his high chair. Check the diaper, looks good, drop it, pick him up, go put his bowl in the sink, come back to the high chair to throw his clothes downstairs and diaper away and uh-oh... It appears there was in fact poop in the diaper. Hmmm...so this cute little butt that's resting against my stomach... *Sigh*
Clean him up, change my shirt and on to the bath. So, Keller's playing in the bathtub and I'm perusing Facebook. In the midst of sending a birthday message, I think I hear bubbles coming from the tub. I check everything out and all looks good. Probably just him banging toys together I assure myself. I go back to writing my birthday message when I see it - The Poop Face. Noooooo! There are certain times when you know Keller's pooping - his face gets red, little red lines form between his eyebrows, there's grunting, and he just has this look. (He's really going to appreciate this when he gets older.) This was one of those times. I rush to pick him up out of the tub (to do what with him I don't know) but I'm too late. Poopapalooza. *Sigh*
Later that morning, Keller and I made our way to the Galleria to get mama a new pair of shoes. So we go into Macy's and I stroll by the men's shirts. I find one I like, head over to get my shoes, pay and we're on our way. Maybe I'll head back by the men's shirts real quick. Find another one and buy it. While I'm here, where are the kids clothes? 3rd floor, of course, so we make our way to the elevators. Side note - Why in the hell are department store elevators soooo slow? Seriously, there aren't 15 floors in this place...what could possibly take so long? Fuckin' gaggle of turtles having a pow-wow upstairs on the elevator. Finally... Get to the 3rd floor, find nothing, of course, and head back to the 1st floor. One more stop by men's (because I'm terribly indecisive) and as I'm browsing Keller gets "the look". And then the grunting starts. Here we go again. Buy another shirt. Where are the women's restrooms? 2nd and 3rd floor...because it would make too much sense to have one on the 1st floor. Back to the dreaded elevators.
By this time I have to pee so I head into the bathroom only to find out the handicapped stall is out of order. WTF?!? Now what do I do? The stroller and my bags and all his shit certainly isn't fitting into a regular sized stall. Unbelievable. Slightly baffled and refusing to make another trip to the elevator, I begin taking my valuables out of the stroller, starting with Keller. Then my wallet and phone and keys. And I then attempt to balance everything while hovering. *Sigh*
Finally get out of that place, take Keller for his first trip to Crate & Barrel (which he loved, obviously) aside from seeing a lady fall…hard…when she tried sitting in a chair that was not meant for sitting.
Went to our friends Jonathan and Laura's house that evening for a cookout. With the day I'd had, I should have known to just call it a day. Didn't. And the Lord said you haven't seen a shitty day yet. I'll spare you all the details because I'm getting tired of writing and I'm sure you're getting tired of reading. Are you still reading this? Wow, I'm impressed. So, what had happened was...the biggest hail storm in the history of hail storms came rolling through right where we were located. Right on top of my new Kia. Shattered my windshield and put a beatdown on the hood and roof and threw a few in on the doors just for good measure. And this was no typical pea- or golf-ball sized hail. Oh no...we're talking baseball sized. Looked like somebody brought that fuckin' gaggle of turtles from the 15th floor and pow-wow’ed them right at my hood. *Sigh*
Here are a few updated pictures of my sweet boy.
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| I'd rather be naked! |
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| First time swinging...love it! |
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| First Cardinals Game |
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| Mother's Day Kisses...My Favorite Picture Ever |
